Your are my gift for this, up until now, rather long day, thank you~ We share a kindred spirit of a kind. For reasons, which each of us has, (I call them the stones in our backpacks) I have long walked in the shadow, dare say, even shame of my own name.
It has taken a very long time however, I have more recently RECLAIMED my IDENTITY~
I have opened my doors and allow the universe in and in doing so, declared my MANTRA OF RECLAMATION>
I share mine with you here
“This is My Mantra!
For seemingly a thousand years I have been held a prisoner by my own self imposed chains. I have allowed life’s ups and downs to become the reason for denying myself the opportunity to Live. The many errors I have made along life’s path have manifested into walls behind which I have merely been existing. I allowed the disappointments of family, friends and associates who having been encouraged to follow my failed dreams to strengthened the chains that bound my soul in this self imposed emptiness.
The bills unpaid! The debts still owed! The promises I have been unable to fulfill~! The failures that reflected my high school dreams lost, now long gone by the wayside! The relationships gone cold and left to wilt like roses long past valentine! The disappointments in the eyes of those who so very much depended on me having being successful to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams! The self righteous indignation of colleagues themselves never having faced the trials and tribulations of my life, yet knowing so very much about what I should have been all these and more I have never challenged.
Where I should have praised myself as a student along the pathway of learning I have instead judged myself as a failure and cursed my errors. Where I should have been bold I cowered into a bundle of insecurity having failed to receive the approval of long trusted friends and or family. Where as I have been out maneuvered by the financially astute now rendering me penniless, I have rewarded them with the benefit of being wiser and my financial demise as being eternally hopeless.
Today I have awoken from my drunken slumber! While I was asleep the spirits of my many ancestors revealed to me the true light of time passed. I have seen before me my many wasted years of existing. More importantly it was reviled to me, the future of one’s life after accepting a sentence of merely existing. My fear of failure prevented me from sharing my dreams. Without my dreams many family and friends now gone never had the chance to taste the precious sweet wine of hope.
My insecurities were the breading grounds for the approval of my colleagues without which, I never grew beyond my childhood fears. Alone I stood at the crossroads of Choosing Living Over Existing while the alarm of awaking was ringing in my subconscious. I have awoken from my drunken slumber realizing that it is now my time to Chose Living Over Existing. In this newly awaken state of being; I have complete confidence in the future. Now I ask you to join me in this new quest by Choosing to Live your dreams Over Existing in society’s imposed emptiness of the many “what could have beens!”