You Use To Be Something

I am much more than decades of a smiling face
so much more than a memory in your last pleasant place
I am more than your angry recall or passive hateful despite it all
I am not what you have always thought me to be if it be only you’ve locked me into the comfort of your imagination cubed and quartered into your personal experiences
I am well beyond your mental grasp
I have long escaped your concrete walls and flown high above your glass ceilings
Here I am screaming free at last

I can have that glass of wine, guilt free of your views
I can run from side to side or just let life fall upside down ignoring the news
I can say you have molested me, you have raped me, you have abused my innocence
I am here to remind you that your violence will not be punished by my silence
nor will it be protected by your fear of me speaking aloud
Yours will be the most chained the most painful, the most indecent of all
You knowing that I am here, free to be me despite your concerted efforts to break me,
to silence me, your futile attempt to have confused me with your mental illness,
your are sickness

While I still awake with visions of your face taped in blood, shame and ignorance
and yes still I have those night sweats from stories as if it was only yesterday
I have pulled all your daggers from my back, slowly healing from your verbal attacks
It took me long but now I belong
I belong to those that are first, Friends; If you be family bonus, never again to trust blood over survival, never again to allow your insecurities to become your indecencies
and silence will never again be your weapon of my destruction
There is no turning the other cheek for you
you drank from the sacrilegious goblet and now you turn wine to vinegar
Your touch now turns love to that pillar of salt and not even banishment will safe you

You have nothing from what’s been washed away, no identity, no life from which to save you
and the dust from where once was your existence will be shun as the killer gene
The Gods have closed their doors and window shut, you are not even valued enough to be branded “on your own”
Thus my silence will not protect you, speaking out loudly will not punish you
The sum total of your existence when added to your combined manipulations, your lies, your scheming, your attempts to reduce me, render me, control me, pull my blood to pool against me have all fallen to the ground like rotten fruits long past their seasons
I would say Bless you but what is there to bless
Your skeleton remains outlines no evidence of ever having had flesh, no signs of ever being a container of life only strive and now
You are nothing~




Choose Living Over Existing(CLOE)Gender Free Writer(GFW), MartialArts-Auth"The Spirit That Guides Us" "Noir AM""The Lottery"

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Anthony Cloe Huie

Anthony Cloe Huie

Choose Living Over Existing(CLOE)Gender Free Writer(GFW), MartialArts-Auth"The Spirit That Guides Us" "Noir AM""The Lottery"