When you were here I took no time saying
how much I needed to wake up beside you
I took no joy from your constant warmth
No peace did I take from your simply charm

I rushed to sleep and equally took no notice
on my waking hours of your keep
My impatience did not even qualify the
good or the bad just the single mechanical
spoken “Morning!”

I have never before noticed the loneliness
below the covers
Warm sheets were always taken for granted
Triple blankets and a comforter yet still
I feel the chill of the cold sheets, the continual
draft at my feet

The cat’s purr being your slumber now gone
only the loud ringing noise of the silence
as I try to remember
I reached over to touch you only to be greeted
by your empty pillows instead

It was only then I truly realized you were gone,
Cold sweat, a racing heart, wrapped in the fear
of having lost you
So many unfulfilled promises of things we would
have done
Now it seems all my days are without the sun

A sudden rush of fear, overwhelmed by the pain,
the shame, the wasted opportunities, the needless
yet numerous, “sorry(s)”, “start without me(s)”,
”we will try again(s)”, “let’s do it next time(s)”
I screamed, jumping up from my horizontal
to an upright position instead
awash with the fear of another waking to an empty

But there you laid peacefully in your cat’s purr slumber
That which I dread was in fact all in my head
The warmth of you, no cold sheets at my feet,
no empty pillows to greet
Today I am going to love you like it was
the very last thing I get to keep.

(inset image shared from)

Choose Living Over Existing(CLOE)Gender Free Writer(GFW), MartialArts-Auth"The Spirit That Guides Us" "Noir AM""The Lottery" https://twitter.com/dropoutgorgeous

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store