The Guilt Of Thinking Sex On Good Friday
Today I awoke and the very first thought that entered my mind was the sweet scented memories of your heat.
And then like a lightning bolt from the far reaches of my childhood indoctrination, a baseball bat of guilt strikes me over the head. The blow shatters my every sensual thought into splinters of confusion. I am made dizzy from the vibration of what just happened. What should have come next is the urgent cry for medical repentance, a kind of psychological healing of the soul. Instead what came was a version of hellish emotional rage. It was if a weird form of doubling down on the fight against this uninvited guilt was enacted.
After all, whose mind was this! Do I have free will or not! Seriously! If I wanted to dam well think sex on Good Friday, why can’t I just do that without some weird, interference of unsorted religious gobbledygook insensitively walking all over my brain’s sensual pathways. Yes I know for some, this is stupid and without merit. But for many, at times I think, far too many, we have long standing emotional blockages of a religious kind.
This is not a conversation about religion. It is not a conversation about believers and non believers. It is a battle for the emotional control of one’s mind when no harm, not even self harm, is an issue. It is a battle for what has long been an historical pleasure grab, the pleasure killers versus the pleasure seekers. And please, kindly do not start your defending with any points relating to the flesh being some kind of temple that should not be forsaken. I would simple respond that in fact, this temple could do with a lot more forsaking and a lifetime less of guilt.
Enjoy your Good Friday. Celebrate life’s gifts. After all, even if I were to give in to all that you have told me, was it not in fact the forgiveness of all my SINS that got us in this very conversation. Now with one very clear dismissal of tradition, that being, the pleasuring of one’s body being sinful; it has never been and will never be sinful, I bid you a pleasure filled Good Friday.