Our Complicated Jesus Complex

Oskar Kadaksoo@oskark

We are a society
with lifelong Jesus complex
constantly waiting for the next savior
to arrive and when we get too lonely
or tired
we start the fires that will prevent our anxiety
from subside
We bring ourselves to consult the doctors
the lawyers,
the ministers and then
if the sign should read they’re not in
we quickly get the gin, the ecstasy or
the more fashionable refrain
doctor says I just too thin

Our confused state of being with the in
while all the time secretly knowing we’ve
always been on the outside just looking in
When family are more like strangers than
strangers
But there at the finish line only if you are
first over the line
If last in line they’ve never been able
to spare time
Long been the topic of conversations
never been the topic of appreciation
Just someone to call upon
when they’ve exhausted all other options

Sometimes we are left to wonder
did we share a mother and a father
are they the same sister or brother
the same ones that when younger
you would kill another if a single hair
on their heads they had bothered
We are a society with lifelong Jesus complex
constantly waiting for the next savior to arrive
and when we get too lonely or tired
we start the fires that will prevent our anxiety
from subside

When finally one day you realize
the source of all your anxiety has long been
the reality of your dysfunctional family
You having your Jesus complex of saving them
from their dysfunctionality
They seeing hating you as the cure for theirs
And so long now gone are the fruitless years
the crocodile tears
the stress of another function builds as your
anxiety crest
You feel every year of life begin to imprint itself
within that slow raising pain in your chest

Time to let them go
They need you to let them go
They need you no more to be their savior
You no longer have to rescue relationships
no silver cross to be awarded
They’ve become infused and inseparable
from their dysfunctionality
Be they liking it or not
the reality is
they’ll always be your family
Time to rescue you~

@Anthony2019mdhVibes

Choose Living Over Existing(CLOE)Gender Free Writer(GFW), MartialArts-Auth"The Spirit That Guides Us" "Noir AM""The Lottery" https://twitter.com/dropoutgorgeous

Choose Living Over Existing(CLOE)Gender Free Writer(GFW), MartialArts-Auth"The Spirit That Guides Us" "Noir AM""The Lottery" https://twitter.com/dropoutgorgeous