It’s my body and I can etc and frankly yes it is your body and frankly NO YOU CAN NOT
Seeing this just now my first reaction was to smile. I am not with any guilt about smiling but almost at that very moment I began to hear the many voices of “it’s my body and I can …..etc… and frankly yes it is your body and frankly NO YOU CAN NOT~.
With everything that has been deemed socially and or personally disrespectful lately when having to do with the manner in which those in lesser positions of “Authority and or Power” have been treated by their superiors, either by way of body shaming, workplace bullying or seemingly more news worthy, sexually inappropriate, UNWANTED and or UN-WELCOMED behaviors, the question that seems to have been given a FREE PASS is what is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY towards your own duty of care?
It would seems that in more and more situations and based ONLY on what we hear in the news, We have swung that sexually harassment pendulum towards a position where the simply pointing of a finger, “that person did……..to me” is all it takes for a verdict of GUILTY~
Careers are ruined and lives destroyed without having to have spent a single day in court. This behavior or more so its acceptance would seem to be predicated on the FREE PAST excuse of “Well it has been imbalance for so long it is time you JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.”
We need to be extremely careful that we are not now offering a FREE PASS TO JUDGEMENT
Each and every time a person from a group of long practice imbalances come forward with serious concerns, we must continue to immediately protect the alleged victims yes, however we can and must not move to a society that persecutes the alleged perpetrators with the simple pointing of a finger.
Case in point and remember, these are my assertions strictly based on the NEWS as it is broadcast. The recently departed (as in resigned) leader of the Canadian provincial (state) Ontario Conservative party and a member of the Canadian Rock Band, Hedley, have both come under some very serious allegations of sexual misconduct and or sexual assault. Now in both those cases, as per news broadcast, the alleged victims were with the knowledge that a sexual act was very possible based on the situation they were “Actively Engaged” in.
In the case of the late conservative leader, two cases as I understand are possibly still active. In both of those cases, both females allegedly stated that once they expressed that they were NOT comfortable and requested to be driven home, that is EXACTLY what was done. In the case of the band, Hedley and again, as I have heard the news, the complainant did understand that the reason for being in the privacy of a room was expressly to engage in a sexual encounter.
Further and continuing with the member of the Rock band, Hedley, the complainant stated “Well just because I agree to have sex with him, does not mean he gets to do what he wants with me”.
First of all, TRUE!
Why True? Because some outrageous respondent will say something rather ignorant as, “so does that mean he gets to murder her?”
You agree to have sexual encounter. Does that mean you take NO RESPONSIBILITY what so ever for your own safety. At which point do you believe that the burden of care shifts from you to the other person?
Frankly I think it is time we balance this conversation with the topic of our responsibility towards our own DUTY OF CARE.
Frankly some behavior are reckless and irresponsible and they need to be called out. Walking in the cage of a hungry lion with raw meat in your hands then when the lion approaches you decide that you no longer wish to feed that lion, is reckless. Men may not be hungry lions, you may consider my analogy of raw meat in appropriate but alcohol and or drug impairment creates an environment of poor judgment, extending that to visiting their cage for the expressed purpose of feeding that hunger further exposes you to the risk of heightened expectations. When finally such expectations have been squashed, at this point, it is TOO LATE for you to now depend on the good graces of that lion to do YOUR DUTY OF CARE on your behalf.
Finally, we do need to stop rushing to social MEDIA judgment when allegations are first brought to light. I for one need not to know if the advantage of me knowing within minutes of such allegations places both the victim as well as the accused in a prejudicial position long before they have their day in court.
P.S as in the image being used at the opening of this piece, both females as well as males do have the right to wear what they so desire without the risk of being attacked with a pre-sentenced judgement that what every happens, it is your fault because of the clothing you wore.